搞笑的英语新闻短篇范文(推荐6篇)

搞笑的英语新闻短篇范文 篇一：Car Chase Ends in Hilarious Twist

In a surprising turn of events, a car chase in a small town ended in a hilarious twist yesterday afternoon. The chase began when a local police officer attempted to pull over a vehicle for a routine traffic violation. However, instead of stopping, the driver sped away, leading the officer on a wild chase through the town.

As the pursuit unfolded, residents couldn't help but notice the absurdity of the situation. The suspect's car, a tiny compact, was being chased by a police cruiser that seemed twice its size. The scene quickly caught the attention of onlookers, who began cheering for the underdog - the suspect in the small car.

The chase took several unexpected turns as the suspect maneuvered through narrow alleys and tight corners, with the police officer struggling to keep up. However, just as it seemed like the suspect would escape, fate intervened in the most comical way imaginable.

As the suspect turned a corner, a flock of ducks suddenly appeared in the middle of the road. Unable to stop in time, the suspect's car plowed right through the flock, sending ducks flying in every direction. The police officer, caught off guard, had no choice but to stop and avoid the chaos.

To the surprise of everyone watching, the suspect's car emerged from the cloud of feathers and continued its escape. However, the laughter from the crowd quickly turned into concern as they realized that one of the ducks had somehow gotten stuck in the grill of the suspect's car.

The sight of the suspect speeding away with a duck sticking out of the front of the car was too much for anyone to handle. People couldn't help but burst into laughter, even as they expressed concern for the poor duck's wellbeing.

In the end, the suspect managed to evade capture, leaving behind a trail of laughter and a rather bewildered police officer. The story quickly spread throughout the town, becoming the talk of the day. Many residents couldn't help but admire the suspect's audacity and the unexpected hilarity that unfolded during the chase.

As for the duck, it was eventually rescued by a local animal control officer and released back into the wild. The incident serves as a reminder that sometimes even the most serious situations can take an unexpected turn and provide a much-needed dose of laughter.

搞笑的英语新闻短篇范文 篇二：Bizarre Burglar Leaves Homeowners in Stitches

In a strange turn of events, a burglar in a small town managed to leave homeowners in stitches instead of fear. The incident occurred late last night when a resident woke up to strange noises coming from the kitchen. Upon investigation, they discovered a rather peculiar sight - a burglar attempting to make a sandwich.

Instead of reacting with fear or anger, the homeowner couldn't help but burst into laughter. The burglar, caught off guard by the unexpected reaction, found themselves in an awkward and comical situation. With a half-made sandwich in their hand, they froze, unsure of how to proceed.

As the homeowner continued to laugh, the burglar's initial confusion turned into amusement. They too began to chuckle at the absurdity of the situation. In a surprising turn of events, the burglar put down the sandwich ingredients and started chatting with the homeowner.

The conversation quickly escalated into a friendly exchange of funny stories and jokes. The burglar, it turned out, had a knack for comedy and had always dreamt of becoming a stand-up comedian. The homeowner, an avid fan of comedy, couldn't believe their luck in stumbling upon such an unexpected encounter.

As the conversation continued, the burglar realized the error of their ways and expressed sincere remorse for their actions. They admitted that they were going through a tough time financially and had resorted to burglary as a desperate measure. However, the encounter with the homeowner made them realize the importance of laughter and human connection.

In a bizarre turn of events, the homeowner offered the burglar a job as a comedian at their local comedy club. They believed that everyone deserved a second chance and saw the potential for the burglar to turn their life around through humor. The burglar, overwhelmed with gratitude, accepted the offer without hesitation.

The story of the burglar-turned-comedian quickly spread throughout the town, leaving residents in awe of the power of laughter and compassion. The comedy club saw a surge in attendance as people flocked to see the newfound talent on stage. The burglar's performances were met with uproarious laughter, proving that even the most unexpected circumstances can lead to a happy ending.

In the end, this bizarre encounter served as a reminder that laughter has the power to heal and bring people together. It also highlighted the importance of empathy and understanding, even in the face of adversity. And so, a burglar's attempt at a sandwich turned into a life-changing moment for both the homeowner and the burglar themselves.

搞笑的英语新闻短篇范文 篇三

一物降一物”

xxxIt's annoying when my dentist starts up a conversation while he's working on my teeth，xxxone guy said to another.

一个人对另一个人说:“当我的牙医陪我看牙时，他总是跟我聊天。这真让我心烦。”

xxxI know just what you mean，”replied his friend. xxxBut my Uncle Edgar used to drive this dentist crazy.'

他的朋友回答说:“我明白你的意思，但我的叔叔艾德加就曾使这位牙医不知所措。”

xxxHow so?xxx

“怎么会这样呢?”

xxxHe was a ventriloquist.xxx

“他是个口技演员。”

搞笑的英语新闻短篇范文 篇四

A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, ¨Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never small and are always silent.

有位小老太太去看医生，她对医生说：”医生，我有爱放屁的毛病。其实也不是大问题，因为我放屁不臭而且没声音。

As a matter Of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know l was farting because they don't smell and are silent.” The doctor says, ¨I see, Here's aprescription.

事实上，自从我进了你办公室后，已经放了至少20个屁了，但是你并不知道对吧，因为我的屁不臭，而且还没声音。xxx医生说：“好的，我明白了。

Take these piles 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week.xxx The next week the lady goes back. xxxDoctor,xxx she says, ¨I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts…although still silent... stink terribly.

吃这个药片，一天三次连续吃七天，下星期你再来。一个星期后，老太太来了，¨医生，你到底给的我什么药，现在我放屁还是没声音。

The doctor says, “Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing.xxx

但是怎么这么臭xxx医生说：太好了!既然你的嗅觉正常了，门开始治听觉吧。¨

搞笑的英语新闻短篇范文 篇五

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.xxxWhat did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?xxx

xxxI gave it to a poor old woman,xxx he answered.

xxxYou're a good boy,xxx said the mother proudly.xxxHere are two cents why are you so interested in the old woman?xxx

xxxShe is the one who sells the candy.xxx

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

搞笑的英语新闻短篇范文 篇六

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more,uttering.xxxTrust me,Sir,and trust the are real US are directly from America.xxx

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”