英语冷幽默句子(优质5篇)
英语冷幽默句子 篇一
Why Did the Tomato Turn Red?
Tomato: I saw the salad dressing, and it was love at first sight!
Why Don't Scientists Trust Atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Why Don't Skeletons Fight Each Other?
They don't have the guts!
Why Don't Sharks Eat Clowns?
Because they taste funny!
Why Did the Bicycle Fall Over?
Because it was two-tired!
Why Did the Golfer Bring Two Pairs of Pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
Why Did the Tomato Turn Red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why Did the Scarecrow Win an Award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why Don't Eggs Tell Jokes?
Because they might crack up!
Why Don't Scientists Trust Atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Why Did the Math Book Look Sad?
Because it had too many problems!
Why Don't Skeletons Fight Each Other?
They don't have the guts!
Why Don't Sharks Eat Clowns?
Because they taste funny!
Why Did the Bicycle Fall Over?
Because it was two-tired!
Why Did the Golfer Bring Two Pairs of Pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
Why Did the Tomato Turn Red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why Did the Scarecrow Win an Award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why Don't Eggs Tell Jokes?
Because they might crack up!
英语冷幽默句子 篇二
Why Did the Chicken Go to the Seance?
To talk to the other side!
Why Did the Tomato Turn Red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why Don't Eggs Tell Jokes?
Because they might crack up!
Why Don't Scientists Trust Atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Why Did the Math Book Look Sad?
Because it had too many problems!
Why Did the Scarecrow Win an Award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why Don't Skeletons Fight Each Other?
They don't have the guts!
Why Don't Sharks Eat Clowns?
Because they taste funny!
Why Did the Bicycle Fall Over?
Because it was two-tired!
Why Did the Golfer Bring Two Pairs of Pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
Why Did the Tomato Turn Red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why Don't Eggs Tell Jokes?
Because they might crack up!
Why Don't Scientists Trust Atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Why Did the Math Book Look Sad?
Because it had too many problems!
Why Did the Scarecrow Win an Award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why Don't Skeletons Fight Each Other?
They don't have the guts!
Why Don't Sharks Eat Clowns?
Because they taste funny!
Why Did the Bicycle Fall Over?
Because it was two-tired!
Why Did the Golfer Bring Two Pairs of Pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
英语冷幽默句子 篇三
英语冷幽默句子 篇四
？”“是问你要多大个的！”“来它一块钱儿的！”
英语冷幽默句子 篇五
，可是有一天还是喝醉了。朋友不解的问它：“你的酒量这么好怎么还会醉？”乌龟郁闷着说：“咳英语冷幽默句子
，章鱼那小子非要和爷划拳。”
三、一个人边遛狗，边剥桔子，不料没拿稳，一瓣掉在了地上。后面一人责怪道：这狗也忒不文明了，怎么能当街拉屎！
四、一天逛书店，那天光线挺暗的。然后就听一个小孩朝柜台里面喊：“阿姨，我要那本杀猪神话。”我很惊悚地朝那个阿姨看，那个阿姨一脸茫然地顺着小孩的手指在架子上寻找……
终于，我们都看到了那本《希腊神话》....
五、职员：“老板！”老板：“什么事？”职员：“我老婆让我来求你给我涨工资。”老板：“好吧！我今晚回家问问我老婆。”
六、有个人弹琴给别人听，大家都听不懂，一天他遇见个妇女她听到琴声就哭了。弹琴人非常高兴问她为什么哭，她说她想起了死去的丈夫。弹琴人：你丈夫也是弹琴的吗？妇女答到：我丈夫是弹棉花的
七、“妈，咱家酱油没有了。”“知道了，我这几天没空。你明天不是考研去呢么，正好打一点儿回来……”
八、某医科大学中心广场上竖一人物雕像，高举右手五指分开向大家挥手。老生曰：此乃告诉各位新生——同学们，五年啊！
九、何大娘对老伴说：“邻居韩大爷给他孙子起的名字叫韩金量，高大爷给他孙子起的名字叫高科技，咱们也快有孙子了，你也给起个响亮的名字吧？”何大爷不假思索地说：“就叫何武器！”
十、家里请了个新保姆。晚上男主人吩咐保姆说：“记住，我和孩子每天早晨七点钟吃早饭，你要……”保姆连连点头说：“噢，我知道了，到时候你们先吃吧，不用等我，我要睡到八点钟再起床。”
十一、奶奶80多岁了，有一天我出门时她问我到哪儿去？我说去斗地主。奶奶高兴了，她随手拿起一把铁锹，说：“带上我，我也去！”
十二、一哥们有一次他约心仪已久的女孩，准备对她表白。两个呆坐良久，他才鼓起勇气对女孩说：:“你有没有男朋友？”女孩羞涩地答道：“还没有。”他狂喜：“那你可不可以当我的男朋友？”
十三、小明对自己的同桌说：“昨天我在作文里只写错了一个字，就被老爸狠狠揍了一顿！”同桌很惊讶地问：“哪一个字？”小明说：“不就是把列祖列宗写成劣祖劣宗嘛。”
十四、某先生终于成名了，于是他把一位画家请到家里来。“我请您来不为别的，想请您为我画幅肖像，希望您尽力捕捉我的神态。”画家紧盯着这位先生面孔瞧了一阵，道：“对不起！我不会画漫画啊。
十五、有个好人被个妹子请去修电脑，那个破电脑怎么也修不好，这时妹子趴在好人的背上说：“这个很不好修吧，不如咱们干点别的吧，要不多无聊。”好人觉得自己的技术实力受到莫大的挑战与侮辱，咬着牙说：“我一定能修好！”
十六、面试，HR不屑一顾地说：“这北大清华毕业的都有的是，你个破浙大的有啥可炫耀的！”只见MM很自信地指着自己的胸脯说：“浙大就是浙大，你服不！”
十七、青年问禅师：“大师，我能请教你一个问题吗？”“你们到底有完没完？他都进了精神病院了你们还不放过他？”大师身后的护士骂道。
十八、甄嬛去路边买煎饼。 甄嬛：“阿姨，这碎碎的一抹青翠，好似乱坠了丫头的眼，平摊于日下，甚是沁人心脾。提神醒脑可是极好的！若忍心炙烤煎熬，蔫萎而焦灼，岂不是辜负了？” 阿姨：“说人话！”甄嬛：“煎饼别放葱！”
十九、如果你在葬礼上，突然手机响了，什么铃声最逆天？A：今天是个好日子。B：我真的还想再活五百年。C：等了好久终于等到今天。
二十、一天姐姐看见弟弟在吃芭蕉，于是问：“弟弟，这芭蕉涩不涩？”弟弟回答：“它皮虽然黄，可是它不色啊。”
